This week, 12th to 18th May 2025, marks Mental Health Awareness Week. At Howell Jones, we understand how the stress of legal issues and proceedings can negatively impact your mental health. To help, this article shares advice and insights, including setting boundaries to protect your mental well-being, preparing for a divorce or separation, and the new guidance from the Family Justice Council on neurodiversity.
Protecting Your Mental Health by Setting Boundaries
Boundaries act as a tool to protect us from harm and act as a blueprint for our relationships with others.
It helps to consider that there are many types of boundaries: physical, sexual, emotional, financial, ethical, spiritual, and work time.
All too often, we impose boundaries but find them difficult to uphold. There are many reasons, one is fear of conflict, and another is low self-esteem, amongst others.
Placing value on what we think and feel is important. If we fear reprisal from others or are used to having our wishes, feelings, thoughts, and opinions minimised, then our confidence drops and we tend to back down.
Try the following exercise:
Take 15 mins and think about one thing in your life, either at home or work, that occurs more than you would like or feel comfortable with. Pick something small to begin with. Then ask yourself:
- What is ok about it?
- What is not ok about it?
- What needs to be different to make it ok?
- Think about how you might ask people to respect what you want
- What would be the consequence if someone oversteps your boundary?
Then, find a day to implement the new boundary & Practise maintaining your boundary
Remember:
- Boundaries keep you safe
- Expect a reaction
- Be consistent
- Be prepared to lose some people – boundaries keep unwanted people out.
Preparing for a Divorce/Separation
Not everyone is “ready” for a divorce or separation, and it may come out of the blue with no hint that your partner was planning to leave the relationship.
Taking legal advice at an early stage can assist with reducing stress, gaining knowledge, and being prepared when starting the initial process of separation.
Preparation will reduce the inevitable stress of separation as well as the legal fees. It is worthwhile investing time in the initial stages of the separation to reduce stress levels and improve communications further along the divorce process and division of the financial assets accrued during a relationship.
Many people going through separation/divorce enter the process believing the process will be an expensive legal battle or that the court will “punish” their cheating partner. These misunderstandings can lead to unnecessary anxiety and unrealistic expectations, which can only exacerbate mental health at a time when stress levels are already high.
Seeking advice from a legal professional can provide reassurance and a more accurate and realistic picture of what to expect. The reality is that the majority of separation/divorces are resolved amicably via out-of-court negotiations.
Divorce is not just a legal or financial matter; it is an emotional journey and should be treated as a life experience by seeking help early on with the challenges ahead. This way, you are better equipped when agreeing and negotiating terms with your ex-partner.
When going through a separation, thought should be given as to whether you should have counselling or joint support groups who have been through similar situations and who can provide invaluable support.
A divorce/separation is never going to be pleasant, but being prepared and getting advice at an early stage will make the process less stressful and expensive. It also means you, your ex-partner, and any children of the relationship will come out the other side having had a better “experience” than you might otherwise have had without taking advice and guidance at an early stage.
Get in touch with our divorce solicitors in Surrey for professional guidance and support.
New Guidance From the Family Justice Council on Neurodiversity
In January, new guidance was issued to assist Family Law practitioners to better recognise and accommodate neurodivergence within the family justice system.
It is acknowledged that failure to understand the needs of a neurodivergent client can lead to the parties, witnesses, and children not being able to participate fully, and equal access to justice is fundamental to a fair system. It is estimated that 15% of the population is neurodivergent.
The guidance is that understanding an individual’s needs leads to better participation and more effective justice.
It is recognised that there is over-representation of neurodivergence in individuals using the court process, and its prevalence is masked by the fact that it is often underdiagnosed. Neurodivergent children become neurodivergent adults, and many individuals have developed strategies to “mask” specific traits to cope and make their neurodivergence less obvious in order to fit in. This is exhausting.
There is now a greater recognition that neurodivergent people’s brains work differently from those who are neuromajority and are simply different, not lesser.
One only has to look at the number of high-profile people who are neurodiverse, including Anthony Hopkins, who is autistic, Richard Branson, who is dyslexic, and Olympian Simone Biles, who has ADHD, to appreciate that neurodiverse people have particular strengths as well as things they find difficult.
Navigating a break-up of a relationship for a neurodiverse person can add a layer of difficulty on top of the usual stress of instructing a solicitor to take advice on a family law issue and participating in court proceedings.
Neurodiverse people have coping strategies that require consideration in court proceedings, and the new guidance considers this.
Purpose of the New Guidance
The aim of the new guidance is to support neurodivergent people to overcome the barriers they face to fair participation in proceedings, by helping practitioners recognise neurodiversity and how best to support those clients in navigating the system. Equal access to justice is fundamental to a functioning and fair system.
Understanding an individual’s needs, and not just from a legal perspective, leads to better participation and more effective justice.
It is important to appreciate that some individuals may not identify as being neurodivergent or have yet to be diagnosed. Others do not accept their diagnosis and do not want to be identified as neurodivergent.
Each neurodivergent person will have their own unique profile and support needs with a range of presentations. Unhelpful stereotypes and assumptions may compound problems in identifying neurodivergence, especially for people in minority ethnic groups, women, and older people.
The court has now adopted the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower scheme, which means that sunflower lanyards are available in all court buildings for all court users, to make it easy for people to show they may need additional help or time.
Neurodiverse people may have the following issues that impact their outcomes in the judicial system:
- Being misunderstood, others having stereotyped views, and feeling stigmatised
- Communication issues
- Social interaction and presentation
- Anxiety
- Engaging in proceedings – finding it challenging to process what is being asked of them
- Sensory issues
- Needs around predictability
The guidance has been introduced for family law practitioners to reduce the misunderstanding of how neurodiversity impacts clients and will, it is hoped, reduce the stress of navigating the family justice system for neurodiverse users.
Our professional, knowledgeable, and friendly Surrey solicitors at Howell Jones are on hand to provide expert legal guidance. Contact our team today for help and support.
